Flamethrower In Super Extra Ultra HD Slow Motion
.... but they can be fun!
The article says that a flamethrower is the best thing you've ever had in your hand. Well, I've used a flame-thrower, and I admit they are fun.
In Christmas week of 1969 (yes, this is a war story) my Company Executive Officer noticed that I had bamboo poisoning over so much of my body that I needed immediate medical attention. So he pulled me out of the bush and put me into the Company Area on "Medical Profile" for two weeks.
Talk about a great Christmas Present!
Since I was "light duty" and was required to walk about the Division Base Camp with my pants legs rolled up. wearing only shower shoes and NO BLOUSE (shirt) ON, I was of no use to anyone.
The thought was the the more sunshine I got on my running sores on legs, arms, face and neck, the faster I would heal and the faster I could get back to running my platoon ... I was the platoon sergeant, not the Platoon Leader ... (but we know who
really runs a platoon. ). And I damn sure would never heal up while I was wading through bamboo thickets, bogs, creeks, and sleeping on the ground with leeches.
But officers .. ah, officers. They HATE to see an Enlisted man walking around in a Tropical War Zone looking COMFORTABLE!
The company leadership soon tired of watching me slouch around the company area, so they decided to find "light duty" which was appropriate to my rank and medical profile.
The thing they had me do was to evaluate weapons.
I tested a four-round semi-automatic rocket launcher, first. This was a weapon which fired missiles similar to the M72 Light Anti-Tank Weapon (LAW). It was a piece of shit; too heavy for use in the jungle, and it required a separate person to carry the reloads .. both the launcher (loaded or unloaded) and the reload weighed on the order of 40 pounds, and had no redeeming qualities. I told them so. If the rocket couldn't do the job in one shot, what the HELL was the use of having four shots .. especially since you couldn't reload the one rocket used, but instead had to carry a 4-round rocket launcher and that was the ONLY reload option possible! (I admit to a little
sarcasm snark here.)
Then they had me test ... I swear I am telling the truth ..
a flame-thrower!
Again, too heavy, no redeeming qualities in an infantry unit where every man is already carrying a full load of ammunition and supplies; absolutely useless in a Jungle environment except (as was the case with the rocket launcher) if you wanted to neutralize an enemy bunker. In the jungle. Which was wet all the time.
Still, I got to fire one, and it was ......... heavy.
Not that it wouldn't have been fun, but who wants to carry forty pounds of fuel that blows up and burns your ass off if somebody puts a bullet in the tank. Yeah, I had seen all the WWII movies. But I got to burn up a couple gallons of fuel and discovered that the point of the thing is this magnesium match. And before you can get the fuel to burn, you have to pull this lever to strike the match. (Oversimplification alert!)
Once you strike the match, there's no way to put it out. You can only unscrew the mechanism and drop it. And then you have to put the new match in, which is a total pain in the ass because it has to go in JUST RIGHT!
(When you drop the match, remember that you have fuel dripping out of the nozzle, unless the flame thrower valve is in
top-notch condition. Which puts you at the mercy of the guys in the Arsenal bunker, who maintain the equipment; I've partied with those guys back at Division, and none of them were sober 2 hours out of 24. So no, I didn't trust the technical expertise of people who were only sober when they were
passed out asleep!)
On the third hand, flame throwers are nothing if not dramatic! There's this slight hesitation when you pull the lever, and then ... WHOOOOOSHHH!!!!!
As the referenced video shows, this great red-and-black Dragon dives out of the muzzle, grows to immense size immediately, and absolutely eats up everything in its path! (As long as it's within 30 or 40 feet of the nozzle, which is well within the range of an AK47, so it's Not All Good.)
<sigh>
Yes, those were The Good Old Days. When you could spend a couple of hours on an idle Thursday Afternoon testing 30 year-old equipment and had no more responsibility than to say: "Yep, it still works .. but who cares?"
Oh. There is suppose to be a point to these little snippets, isn't there?
Let's see, we're talking about (a) 4-round semi-automatic back-pack rocket launcher, and a flame thrower. Right?
Nope. No point to them. No point at all.