My personal answer is to yield to my family preference ... but I've never felt comfortable with it;
New York Times: What To Do If A Guest Wants to Bring a Gun to Thanksgiving Dinner - The Truth About Guns:
No doubt Anonymous’ sister rolled her eyes at the anxiety in her sibling’s voice when the question was presented.Mr. Galanes’ response: Follow up. Ask, “How did Jim feel about leaving his gun at home?” In the event of pushback (or noncommittal dithering), add: “We know that Jim is a responsible gun owner. We just don’t want guns in our home.” If you continue to believe she’s shining you on, install a metal detector at the front door. Happy Thanksgiving!Yes, I've been exposed to the same question in my family, and I've never felt comfortable with it.
The answer is a personal response, and so far I've always yielded to the preference of my family.
When I asked "I suppose it would better not to bring my gun to the wedding" (for example), my family has always been negative ... and I have always acquiesced to their preference.
I've never felt comfortable that I bowed to their preference, and I'm darned if I know whether it was better for me to feel uncomfortable, or for them to feel uncomfortable.
Ultimately, I think it's better that they not know that I continue my usual habit of carrying.
If they can see that I am armed, I am not "doing it right".
If they feel uncomfortable knowing I'm armed in a social situation, I'm not carrying "concealed", and that't My Bad; there should never be a circumstance when I'm obviously carrying.
But that's the whole point. Do I have a responsibility to inform them that I'm carrying?
I feel a responsibility to inform my family that I'm armed in social situations. Perhaps I'm offering them a choice which is not fair to them, because nobody else in the family carries a firearm.
And perhaps I'm asking them a question (should I leave my gun at home?) which causes them great discomfort, and in doing so I'm asking them to tell me that I should not carry in a familial situation? I get the impression that they would rather I had not asked, because they really didn't want to deal with the question.
Should I ask their permission to carry in a family gathering?
Or should I merely tell them, so they are informed?
Or should I just carry without informing them; leaving them outside the "Decision Curve"?
I've been carrying for decades. My family is aware (although I haven't made an issue of it), and of course there has never been a cause for it to become an issue. But when I ask if it's 'appropriate' for the moment, the answer from my family is invariably "NO!"
Who do I listen to: My family (to whom I will lie, and carry anyway), or my conscience?
Ot to my personal judgement?