I hate elections

No, really.    In my whole life, I can't think of one national candidate that I voted for, who won.

With one exception.

Trying to break this horrible jinx, I tried to outfox it one year by voting for the candidate I most definitely did NOT want to win.

That's how Bill Clinton got elected President.

This year, I have the election returns playing on the radio in the Front Room.

I'm upstairs in the Hell Room (you know, the cluttered room with the desktop computer in it) where I can hear enough to know they're still talking about politics, but I can't make out what they say.

(Helpful Hint:  I've discovered that playing music helps.  I recommend Rolling Stones' "Hot Rocks" album: "I Can't Get No Satisfaction!")

Apparently, though, I'm not the only one who is mad as hell and just can't take it anymore:

How to Relieve Your Election Night Anxiety - Bloomberg View:

So it’s about to be over. Congratulations to all of us for surviving a truly terrible presidential campaign. Some of the terribleness was on the stump, but a lot it was generated by the all-politics-all-the-time news media and social networks. If, like many of us, you’re worn out by the whole thing, I would propose an innovative response: Don’t watch the election returns come in. Spend tonight doing something more useful.

Best idea I've heard all day!

Except for this one:

(display borrowed from gunowners.org)