Naw, honest, officer. We didn't do NUTTIN to him!
We wuz just out here playing a little B-Ball, and this white dude just started to AK us. We never seen him before, we don't even know why he even be here.
Me and my bro's just wanted to catch a few rays and get in a little practice. We got a big game coming up wit' other guys in da hood, you know? Alla sudden this honky asshole dude starts blazing away ... we dint know who or why, we jest hunkered down and tried to get small behind the fence. One of my homies got shot in the ASS, y'know?
We in the PARK, y'know? Ever'body knows you don't mess wit' folks in da PARK!
Lucky t'ing, one a the guys had his homies wit him? And they started blazing back at the honky wit' the AK. Y'know? Dat honky gots what he deserved, y'know? We got RULZ in dis hood, the park is whatcha call it ... off limits, y'know?
Yeah, I glad they nined his ass. He got no RIGHT Y'know?
Could of been worse. The assailant might have attacked U.S. Congressmen.
Imagine how fraught with political implications that would have been.
Why ... something might even have been done!
For example: Congress might have gone a little crazy and started to realize that draconian anti-gun laws don't actually perform any useful purpose except to make victims of honest citizens.
And, recognizing that armed attacks by nutcases can happen to anyone, anywhere ... the politicians might consider the truth of the adage:
When Guns Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Guns.
(Well, outlaws and "privileged persons")