Thursday, June 05, 2014

BAN ALL GUNS, (Gun Free Zones are GOOD, dammit!)

Am I the only one who is getting tired of presenting arguments opposing "Reasonable, Common-Sense" Gun Restrictions?

Why do I even bother?

I give up.  I quit being a Conservative, Opinionated, Scary Gun-owner.

I have decided to become an anti-gun Liberal Democrat.

After all, the people who are proposing these restrictiion common-sense measures (as long as I'm buying into their dominance, I might as well accept the Correct Terminology of the Left) are presumed to be legitimate, heart-felt advocates of their political position.

No, it's not even "political"; it's "societal".

We can't blame people for not wanting to see a bunch of gun nuts walking around with their trousers down firearms showing.   It's disgusting, and it's scary.  Why would anyone want to carry a gun in a perfectly safe no-guns zone, such as a fast-food restaurant, a church, a school .. these are peaceful places, and we Americans should be protected by law from having to see weird people carrying guns.

(I wouldn't like to be thought of as "weird", which is why I haven't joined the NRA lately.  Just saying.)

People should be protected from even from the possibility that people they see in public places might have guns, even if they can't see them,  They have a right to be frightened at the mere concept.  Doesn't it say something about that in the Constitution?  (Or is it the Declaration of Independence ... I always get them confused; as do most of my new Liberal friends.)

It's much more sane to make it illegal to carry a gun.

That way, if we see someone with a gun, we know he's there to Do Us Harm.

(Well, we already suspect that .. but wouldn't it make more sense to make it illegal?  That way, if we see a gun, there's no doubt in our minds;  we can move immediately to our default "Chicken when the sky is falling on Sunday" mode, assured that if we see an axe, we're going to lose our heads.)

(Uh .. chickens get slaughtered on Sunday, for lunch.  People get slaughtered any time, for less clear reasons.  but I digress.)

(Sorry, I'm not sounding very coherent.  But that's okay;  I'm a newly minted Liberal, you know, so I'm not expected to make sense.  Or to  be consistent.  This is so liberating!)

And what's so wrong with a "Universal Background Check", anyway?  Sure, they'll have to record the serial number of the guns with each transaction, even if I give them away to a family member.  Makes no difference that nobody knew I had those guns before, nor that they now know what guns are 'out there' and who has them.  It's NOT "registration" ... just making sure that they don't go to someone who "shouldn't have guns".

Okay, so if I give my guns to my nephew, it makes him subject to psychiatric evaluation to make sure he's not some kind of nut.  He's my family, I know him.  I know he's not a nut; if he was, I wouldn't give him guns.  Simple enough.

But if it makes other people feel more comfortable?  Sure, why not.  If my nephew gets put on some kind of list (ha!  Like the U.S. Government would do that!) it's not my concern.  He's a good kid, he can handle that.

Of course, I would never give a gun to my son; he's in the Arny, it might affect his promotion.  Or am I just being paranoid?  Never mind.  None of your business, forget I said anything.

So .. okay.  maybe I won't give up any of my guns. I know I'm A Good Guy and would never hurt anybody.  Well, anybody who isn't trying to hurt me.  Or my own. I can be trusted.  Hell, I trust me, and I don't trust ANYBODY!

(See what a good Liberal I've become!  I'm on my way to peace and prosperity.)

Besides, I would never want to make anyone ... uncomfortable .. just because I'm carrying my gun, that I have a permit from my local sheriff, who has researched my background.  He and I know I'm okay.  Besides the records of concealed handgun licenses are not a matter of public record.

And what if they were "Public Records"?  Who would that hurt?  Me?  Why would anyone want to single me out just because they know I have a firearm and am licensed to carry it?

Besides, my new best friend, President of the United States of America, Barack Hussein Obama (did I spell that right?) has assured me that he is not going to take my guns.

On the other hand, he doesn't know that I HAVE any guns, or how many, or what kind, so I'm doubly safe.  Which is just paranoid of me to say, I know, but still ...

No, that's just wrong.  Nobody is going to take my guns.  If they did, then I would know that it was for The Common Good, because I can't be trusted with my guns.  Even though I'm a veteran, and .... oh!  Veterans can't be trusted with their guns, can they?  We're all freaked out from the war, and stuff.  Of course, my 'war' was over a quarter century ago, but who knows how this PTS or whatever it is might linger on and show up unexpectedly later.

I guess Our Dear Leader, Mr. Obama (I'm pretty sure I know how to spell THAT) would never lie to me about not taking my guns.

After all, why should he?

I'm on HIS side, now!


Oh, screw it.

I can't keep up with the liberal double-talk.  Guess I'll just keep my guns and my politically societal incorrect attitudes.  It's so MUCH easier to understand what I'm talking about when I'm a baby-killing gun-owning monster then when I try to be a Liberal!

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