Gun control? How about Dead Fish Control?

Assault with fish lands man in jail

A series of incidents involving a fish and his own private parts landed a Fredericksburg man in jail Sunday, police said.

City police spokeswoman Natatia Bledsoe said the suspect's troubles started Saturday about 8:30 a.m. at the 7-Eleven on Dixon Street.

Three people were at the gas pumps when the suspect entered the store. The witnesses said they noticed the suspect because he was singing very loudly.

A 40-year-old man was looking at the suspect when he came out of the store still being loud. This caught the attention of the suspect, who picked up a rock and hit the man in the neck.

Bledsoe said the man's 32-year-old friend then got out of the car and confronted the suspect about throwing the rock. The suspect grabbed a fish out of his car and hit the friend in the face with it.

The suspect threw a beer bottle onto the vehicle at the gas pump, which belonged to the fish victim's girlfriend. Witnesses said he dropped his pants and flashed his private parts to all three.

As our British Friends would no doubt suggest, this is obvious justification for legal restrictions on the possession and transportation of Dead Fish. (Perhaps, also, "Loud Singing In Public".)

It may also be a clarion call for restrictions on the possession and transportation of Rocks.
Similar restrictions might conceivably be imposed on the possession and transportation of Beer Bottles.

However, we are not yet convinced that it is practical to impose restrictions on the possession and transportation of "Private Parts".

What do you think?

Is there a limit to the listing of inanimate objects which should be restricted because they may lead to anti-social behavior?

[Perhaps the term "inanimate objects" may not be applicable to "private parts", unless you are very old.]