American Bail-out! (A Modest Proposal)

An Open Letter To:
George W. Bush
President of the Unites States of America
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, District of Columbia


From:
Jerry The Geek
You Know Who I Am
You Know Where I Live

Dear Mister President;

My VISA card is maxed out, the rent is past-due, and I have some grandchildren whose birthdays are due in the next six months. I am heartbroken that I cannot pay my bills and continue to give money to my family.

I hear that you have proposed a Seven Hundred BILLION dollar ($700,000,000,000) bailout to the banks who have been obliged to follow the dictates of a Democratic congress for the past ten years, advocating the approval of mortgages to people who can't afford to buy the houses they are now forced to give up.

It occurs to me that this money would be better allocated to people who did NOT buy a house they could not afford during this period.

I don't know who these mortgagees are, nor how many may be involved, but I'm reasonably certain that you don't know, either. I've read the Patriot Act, and it doesn't appear to cover this population segment.

You don't know who they are but I bet you know who I am.

I am reliably informed that there are 200,000,000 people in this country over the age of 18; they have voted, or soon will vote in Presidential elections. Why don't you give the money to these people who pay the taxes and pay the taxes, instead of bailing out the banks who have placed them in this untenable position?

$700,000,000,000 distributed among 200,000,000 Americans would place $3,500 in the pocket of every voter in the country. Ignore the children (that has always worked for you in the past); give the money to the Families and let them distribute the wealth as seems most appropriate.

Note that married couples would receive $7,000, which buys a lot of Christmas presents ... if I can still use the word "Christ" in an email.

Please send my $3,500 Bailout Bucks to me, Jerry the Geek, post haste. I really need the money in order to avoid a Financial Crisis.

Help me to avoid a Panic!

Jerry the Geek
You know who I am.
You know where I live.

PS: Please send a Money Order. I don't trust checks. I would rather you don't tell the banks about this scheme.