Monday, November 09, 2015

Response to comment on "Open Carry": The Noisy Cricket is the right gun for me!

When I wrote my November 07, 2015 article about "Open Carry", I expected to get some outraged feedback from Open Carry Advocates.

Disappointing that I only received one response.  But at least the author had a valid question:

Anonymous said...
Cannot a citizen who is open carrying a more effective pistol or maybe rifle take out a mass murderer? Generally the pistols/revolvers that can be carried concealed are not really suitable for shooting further than across the room and may be a marginal caliber. In parts of the country with warm weather year round it is have to carry a standard service sized sidearm concealed under a t-shirt and Bermuda shorts.
Just call me Anon. Try shooting one of the lightweight compact or sub compact sidearms both rapidly and accurately when using full power 40 S&W or 45acp.
November 08, 2015 12:47 PM

I'm pretty sure that "Call Me Anons" rides a white horse.

Yes, I think it would be a wonderful thing if a Citizen could save a lot of lives by virtue of carrying a Major Weapon AND making sure that it can take out a terrorist  from the other side of the Food Court.  (It might be tempting to take out the "restaurant manager" at the same time, but that would be A Bad Thing.  Tempting .. but still Bad.  There might be innocent people present, too.)

Being at the right place at the right time, and doing the right thing, is laudable.

If the police (who will eventually show up) can tell the difference between the mass murderer and the guy with a smoking AR15 and a red do-rag around his head and a Sylvester Stallone Sweaty body and a smug smirk on his face ... Call Me Anonymous might even survive the experience.

(No, I don't really believe that, but he seems like a genuinely nice guy and I wouldn't want to feel as if I hadn't made at least some effort to validate his life.  As long as he had it, anyway.)

But I don't really want to rescue the entire K-Mart or Wall-Mart or Wally-World shopping contingent on any given Black Friday.   I don't prance through the Mall with an AR15 slung across my brawny shoulders and a couple of Banana-Clips poking out of my hip pockets in the hope that I'll stop America's Most Popular Mall-Shooter Of The Week.  That's just so ... not me!

I'm sorry if I don't sound like the super-hero type of Blogger (is there one?) and I don't want to disappoint my readership.  So I'll tell this story just once, and then I'll STFU, okay?

I've been shot at before.  There is nothing (I know some famous writer that I can't remember said this before me, but ...) .. there is nothing so rewarding as being shot at and missed.  However, my PERSONAL version goes something like:

There is nothing so rewarding as not being shot at all day, and I intend to pursue that personal gratification every day for the rest of my life, thank you very much.  

Those of you whose personal mission in life is to save the world from tyranny and/or Shopping Mall Massacres, have at it.  I'll gladly step aside and allow you all the glory.

Remember that scene in the movie "Men In Black" (#1) where Wil Smith is issued his ordnance?  He gets the "Noisy Cricket"  and he's disappointed,

"KAY ..... Give The Kid A Weapon!"

That's what **I'm** Talking about!

No, it's not. That is SO not "what I'm talking about!

For myself, I'll take a Belly Gun every day. 

No, it's not a large caliber.  No, it won't take out a terrorist mission across the width of a shopping mall or even the width of the "Ye Olde Antique Mall Shopping Mart Boutique", but if some ass ......   jerk puts his pot-belly within reach I can put my sneaky/femininistic/no-testical-man little P3AT in his belly-button and extend THAT the the opposite side of the shopping mall.

No, Brother, I don't want to save the world.  Been there, done that, got the olive-drab t-shirt.

I just want to save my own precious lilly-white ass, thank you very much.   Yes,even the parts with pimples on it ... when I really think it through, that part is precious to me, as well.   No, don't ask.

I've said it before, I'll say it again:  If the threat is so far away that I can't hit him with my .380, he probably can't hit me with his lever-action shotgun which he stole from the Terminator.    So I'll just turn my back and run away!

And I won't even feel guilty about that, because I know there's some Terminator-Wanna-Be with a black rifle and a couple of 30-round Banana Clips * who is just chomping at the bit for the opportunity to Take Down A Terrorist from across the street,  and Save Western Civilization and The World AS We Know It!

( * No, I do NOT feel guilty about calling them "banana clips"; this is my blog, I can murder words before I murder people.)

So you all can do what you want to do, just give me a couple of seconds notice before you start blasting away across the shopping mall.  I don't move as fast as I use to, so I would appreciate the advance warning.  Otherwise, I'll just have to "Duck and Cover" like they use to teach us in school to do, in case the Ruskies drop "The Bomb" on us. 

Which ... may not be all that far-fetched.

And that's all I have to say about it.


Mark said...

brawny shoulders???

Anonymous said...

The argument may be mute. I may be wrong, but I think the number of states allowing open carry outnumber the states that disallow it. No need to demonstrate for something you already have.