Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Happy Veterans Day To Me (?) (MY MOTHER IN LAW IS COMING TO VISIT??????)

My ex-wife is coming to visit tomorrow.

No no, it's not like it sounds.  I married the lady because I liked her, and I still like her (even though we drive each other crazy if we are in the same room together for too long).

We parted 30 years ago .. more or less.

We get along MUCH better now that she has remarried and moved 600 miles away.

She has kind of gotten into the family genealogy thing, and I found a bunch of old letters and Church of Latter Day Saints Genealogy forms in  my attic, so I called her and asked if she would be interested?

Well, yes.  She planned to drive up for the week to visit her mother and her aunt, and it would be a lot less complicated if she and her current husband (one of my best friends) could just stop by and pick up the box of letters.

Which sounded like a great deal, and I was happy to tell her she is invited to visit.  She is the mother of my two children, and surely at least ONE of them may be interested in our family tree!

So I did a little picking up around the house, some light dusting, vacuum the living room carpet, drag my make-shift reloading bench off to the side of the living room, vacuumed again to get all the spent primers dropped from the reloading bench, searched the living room for pistols and ammunition which just happened to be laying around.

(Did I mention I've been a bachelor for 25 years now?  Not that it matters, one just tends to form untidy habits when there's nobody around to nag remind you gently that "... disassembled firearms and cleaning solvents don't belong on the dining room table, DEAR~! ...." you know, the usual.)

My ex wife is coming to visit tomorrow.  With her current husband.  And would it be okay if she brings her ankle-biter chihuahua "Gypsy"?

Sure, no problem.

"Oh, and Mom and Auntie L. are coming too because they want to visit the cemetery and see" (me) --- her "favorite ex-son-in-law."  (Only one, too!)
I HOPE they weren't expecting to see me in the cemetery!
After all, I did divorce their daughter/niece a few decades ago.

(actully, Auntie L. is a sweetheart..    Ant the M.I.L would be, too.  If I wasn't related to her.
I honestly believe this.)

SO:  New Cleaning Regimen:
Move EVERYTHING that's on the carpet and vacuum where vacuums have never ventured before!

Get rid of the "clean towels" in the bathroom and replace them with the "Guest Towels" my daughter sent me for my birthday this year.

Empty the vacuum cleaner (it was getting full of expended primers) and vacuum again; yep, that was a good decision.  Funny sound those little primers make when they hit the impeller.
Glad that the half-box of NEW small-rifle primers I lost in the shag carpet last month didn't 'hit wrong', but I didn't hear a single BANG! .  so I'm Good!

What have I forgotten?

Well, I have not dusted the top of the refrigerator.

30 years my MIL came to visit us, and when she went back home after her 3-day visit she called my wife and said "Read Your Refrigerator".

SO my wife  found a stepladder which would allow her to see the top of the refrigerator ... which neither of us had seen since we moved into the house.

In the accumulated dust, my MIL had written:


And you wonder why I fear her?

(By the way, our Daughter thinks this is funny.  She wasn't there.  But she's still in my will, anyway.)


Mark said...

You are lucky. My wife will not venture into my reloading room with a vacuum. Too often the past she has popped a live primer. She says she probably lost years off her life. The plus side is nothing gets moved.

Anonymous said...

Are you sure you are not over reacting. Why not assert your manly independence and just state that what you see is the real me.
Just Call Me Anon