Etiquette

You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht,
Your hat strategically placed below one eye, your scarf it was apricot,
You had one eye on the mirror while you watched yourself walk in,
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner ... they'd be your partner;
You're so vain, I bet you thing this song is about you, don't you, don't you?
-- Carly Simon: "You're So Vain", from the "Reflections" album

On the first stage of the match this weekend, I was the third shooter.

After the second shooter completed the stage, and while they were shooting, I moved into the bay and started walking though the bay. The 'next shooter walk-through' is where you decide the best tactics and strategy for you to shoot the stage. You decide how to use your personal skills to the best advantage, put on your game face, and calm yourself with the confidence that you know exactly how you will engage each target, from what place and in what order. If done right, it allows the competitor to focus on the shooting and exclude the turmoil of distraction from the purpose of the exercise.

As I was completing the third and final ittiration of my walk-through, I was startled to hear the Scorekeeper announce: "T. is the next shooter".

???

As I turned to the scorekeeper with a questioning look, he announced: "T. is shooting through." And there T. was, with a brightly colored shirt, already starting his walk-through.

I vaguely assumed that T., who is a Very Important Person in the section, was somehow associated with Match Administration. I have no idea why this should be, but he is the VIP and has the shirt; I just paid my money and took my turn, and had nothing at all to do with Match Administration, so I backed away from the stage with what little grace I could muster at this unannounced last-minute change in the competitor sequence. Okay, I may have glowered a little. And maybe my arms were crossed in a defensive/aggressive manner as I tried to get back into the Zen focus for which I had striven.

After T. finished, I moved forward to re-do my walk-though, when I saw E. starting his own walk-through. j ??? I backed off, because while E. was not a member of the squad, he is a Very Important Person in the Section, and he was also wearing a brightly colored shirt.

I was only wearing an STI T-Shirt, and I am not a Very Important Person in the Section.

Sure enough, the Score Keeper announced that E. was the next shooter, and he was "shooting through".

Now, I have no problems with people who are "Shooting Through". Usually, this situation applies to people who have convinced the Match Director that there are good and justifiable reasons why they should disrupt the established match schedule by skipping the match rotation. They shoot one stage, move on to the next stage and shoot it, and so on until they have completed the match in as short a time-span as is possible.

But I usually get, at least, a Dinner and a Movie out of it. Y'know?

After E. completed the run, I was still leaning against the counter in the bay as the Score Keeper read the names of the next three people to shoot the stage. My name was first. Both T. and E. were still in the bay, reloading magazines and getting their gear together to move to the next stage (and presumably to barge through the shooting schedule for the rest of the match.)

I waited for a moment, and then asked the Score Keeper who was the next shooter.

He hesitated, confusedly, and said: "Well, you are."

"Oh." I said. "I just wanted to make sure that the shooting order hadn't changed in the last five seconds."

Silence. A little embarrassed laughter (not from T. or E., though.)

So I moved to the line, walked briefly though the stage, and proceeded to shoot the stage both slowly and inaccurately. "Well, I was slow but at least I got a good D-hit score" I joked feebly.

And went back to my range bag to reload magazines and contemplate my many sins.

A squad member, The Hobo Brasser (THB), wandered by and asked: "Did you hear what T. said as he was leaving?"

"No, I didn't".

"He said 'F**k You, Jerry'."

I thought about this for a minute.

"You know, I've had breakfast, and I've insulted T.; now I think I'll have a cigarette!"

It's probably an Oregon-ism and not common lore that the three best things in the world are a drink before and a cigarette after. I had all three this morning. I was on a roll, and the rest of my day was as light-hearted and enjoyable as it could be.

For the rest of the match, sometime during each stage (usually as one of us was shooting and the other working as Range Officer), THB and I would approach each other and, when one of us said "F**k You", the other would respond "A$$HOLE!".

Then we would smile, and laugh quietly at each other.
_____________________________________

Folks, if you absolutely must shoot through, it's a pretty good idea to act as if you're a guest in someone's home. Ask permission, thank the host and hostess. You know, the usual civilized (if meaningless) gestures that show you're more than some uncouth barbarian from East Arrogantistan.

And after your host lets you use his facilities, telling him "F**k You" is perhaps not as expressive of your gratitude as is "Th**K You."

See? It's just as easy to write, and just as easy to say.

Unless, of course, you're an a$$hole. In which case, I own this bay and when I'm done with it I'll burn it down before I turn it over to you.