A case for Football Helmet Conrol?

A Florida home-owner assaulted a pedestrian with a football helmet.

The passer-by, who was innocently plying a screwdriver against the screen-door of the home, is "... nursing a bruised head ... after being beaten with a football helmet.."

This is clearly prima facea evidence that the mere possession of a football helmet is bound to drive an otherwise normal person to violence.

It's high time we, the American People, call upon our legislators to demand that they enact common-sense helmet control laws restricting private ownership of these deadly weapons.

Anyone who has witnessed a football game is aware that football helmets serve no useful purpose in the life of the average citizen. This deadly device is useful only as a blunt instrument to bludgeon our fellow man.

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention has studied the problem, and determined that private ownership of football helmets almost invariably leads to aggressively violent behavior.

In a study of School Associated Violent Deaths, CDC offers the following observations:

FACTS: What has research shown to date about school-related violence?

To date, CDC research on school associated violent deaths found:

• The number of children and youth homicides that are school-related make up one percent of the total number of child and youth homicides in the United States.

• Most school associated violent deaths occurred during transition times such as the start or end of the school day, or during the lunch period.

• We have also seen that school-associated homicides are more likely to occur at the start of each semester.

• Nearly 50 percent of the homicide perpetrators (this includes adults, children and youth) gave some type of warning signal (e.g., a threat, a note) prior to the event.

• Among the students who committed a school-associated homicide, 20% were known to have been victims of bullying and 12% were known to have expressed suicidal thoughts or engage in suicidal behavior.
  

Given that High-School Football games are increasingly popular (especially in rural areas, where the residents are typically less well-educated than populations in urban centers such as Atlanta, Georgia), it's clear that this is the time to remove this deadly instrument of aggression from the hands of our neighbors, who may be driven mad from the mere possesion of a football helmet, and preferably institute helmet-control measures all across this great country.

As a recent caller on a radio talk show observed:

We don't need to hit people, and we don't need to carry around guns football helmets!

Write your congress-person today, and encourage him/her to sponsor federal legislation which will protect us from unfettered football helmet posession.

Do it for the children.

NEXT WEEK: Infant Deaths due to other deadly instruments in the home.

A clear case for governmental control of buckets, water, nipples and nursing, TV, chewing gum, bed sheets, plastic bags, toys, cribs and food.

4. Deaths due to Drowning and Other Asphyxiants
In this group, 11 cases of death due to drowning occurred (10 cases in buckets of water in the bathroom, 1 case in a bucket on the balcony); the eldest victims were aged four years.

Seven infants died during nursing by choking on the nipple (the eldest victim being 14 months of age), one was asphyxiated by a plastic bag on the head, one was smothered by the bed sheet, one by strangulation with crib cording and one by strangulation with a long TV cable while playing.

Fifteen of 17 children who died by foreign body (food) aspiration were aged 0-3 years. Fourteen had died due to aspiration of food, like beans, mandarins, or pieces of apple (found on the floor or while eating). In one case, a piece of a toy was aspirated. A 16-year-old girl died by aspiration after having fallen asleep with chewing gum in her mouth.