Geekish Bloggerbash (etc)

I note that this year's Happening Thing is to host a Bloggerbash.
This is where a bunch of people who run Web Logs (online diaries, like this one, also known as "Blogs") get together to meet&greet. Preferably, this occurs in a PUBlic form where Spirits flow like water.

Being a major wannabe, I announce The First Annual Geekish Blogerbash, to be held the day before Memorial Day at the personal home of Randomly Hittin' Witten. (Note: Randomly doesn't know about this, so for heaven's sake don't tell anybody.)

As near as I can tell, there are approximately three (3) bloggers in the state of Oregon, and I'm the only one who knows where Randomly lives. If you email me, and you pass the 'Sniff Test' (which means I know who you are, you rascal!) I might even tell you where to go.
YMMV. Deal with it.

If I'm right, I'll be the only Blogger there. This means I'll be able to soak up all the Blog-Glory in the entire state, which makes me one-fiftieth (1/50) of the American Blog-Glory holders in America.


That's the good news.
The bad news is: Blogging is not generally considered a worthy avocation for a grown man in Oregon. My entire fan club consists of two charming ladies who sent me the following email:

We heard that you are a Blog! Bullshiters logged on globally.
We understand that you are one of the biggest!
& who said that bigger isn't better!

D* and E*(after a few drinks!)

When I originally quoted their note, D* seemed disappointed that I didn't credit them for their contribution. This is my attempt to pour oil on the blog-groupie waters. What do you want to bet that I get in trouble 'anyway'?

Here's some 'etc', just for fun:

Man wins $340,000 in bottled fly lawsuit

The original link, at canada.com, was broken. Apparentlyl they took the article off their web page. Well, that's canada for you. Fortunately, Fark.Com had a link up. Unfortunately, it includes some fairly ribald comments. Well, that's Fark for you.

Here's the deal. Man buys a five gallon bottle of water from Culligan to put in the water cooler at his beauty shop. (?) Notices there's a big ol' fly floating in the water, it puts him off his feed to the point where he can't even WASH in water. Sues, is awarded Big Bucks, Canadian press makes a big stink out of it ... for less than one week before they remove the article from the Net.

The other side of the story is the long-running joke told by Vietnam Veterans:
An American soldier is sent to Vietnam. His first day 'in-country' he goes into the EM Club and buys a beer. Notices there's a fly floating on his beer, and announces to the bartender "Hey! There's a fly in my beer! Yech, unsanitary bar ... I'm outta here!

Next week he goes back to the EM club, orders a beer, finds a fly and says "Hey! There's a fly in my beer! Gimme a new beer!"

After three months in country he comes in out of the field and bee-lines to the EM club. Same deal, he finds a fly in his beer.
He delicately picks the fly out of the beek, flicks the dead fly to the floor, and drinks the beer.

About his six-month anniversary, he's back. Fly in his beer (are we seeing a trend?) Drinks around the fly.

Nine months in country, fly in his beer. drinks the beer.

At the end of his tour, while he's waiting for his plane to The Big PX he buys a beer and finds ... guess what? ... there's a fly in his beer.

The guy picks up his beer mug, admires it from all angles, and exclaims proudly:

Aha! Fresh meat!

Chugs the beer down with much lip-smacking.

....

Okay. I guess you had to have been there.


Here's some more 'etc':

Newsday.com: Would-Be Car Burglar Locks Self in Trunk

Guess what. Yup, you guessed it; another Broken Link. Newsday.Com must have relatives in Canada.

Here's the story anyway:

Guy wants to break into a car, jimmys the trunk, starts going through the stuff he finds in the trunk. Crawls right in there. Having appropriated everything of value, he grabs the trunk lid to pull himself out. Loosing his grip, he somehow manages to close the trunk lid and locks himself in. After several hours of trying to open the trunk from the inside (my 1-year-old granddaughter could get herself out of a trunk with a screwdrive!) he starts pounding on the trunk.

The police him out, arrest him, and call the reporters.

Just another Dumb Crook story.


Speaking of which ....


Hillary Clinton is NOT running for president in 2008. In the meantime, republican activists are building a warchest to stop her from not-running. Or, as they say at StopHerNow.COM:

"Rescuing America from the radical ideas of Hillary Clinton"

Want to see something REALLY scarey?

Pirates.

Make my day!

Here is a firsthand account of a pirate attack on two yachts. It took place only 30 miles off the coast of Yemen at 13°28' North 48°07' East on 8 March 5pm local.

Summary:
March 11, 2o05
Two yachts, Mahdi and Gandalf, sailing off the coast of Yemen. At least 4 pirate boats attack them. Yachtsmen defend themself with a 12-gauge shotgun loaded with buckshot. Mahdi keeping the pirates' heads down with shotgun barrage; Gandalf rams one of the pirate boats. Mahdi sees the disabled pirate boat crew attempting to board Gandalf, shoots at least 3 of the pirate crew.

Mahdi and Gandalf

Score:
Mahdi & Gandalf: one pirate boat, 3 pirates
Pirates: zip, zero, zilch


Life is good, and that's enough Goblin Count for this Geek.