Friday, October 31, 2014

Happy Halloween! (Curmudgeon Style)

Halloween has changed.  Gone are the belly-aches of yesteryear.

Gone are the caramel apples .. victims of razor blades embedded by evil people (and if you never believed that evil exists, this was my first clue when I heard about it decades ago).

It's Halloween, and I celebrate it the way I always do ... with no doorbells ringing.

 I turn off my porchlight (which I leave on 24/7 364 days a year) because I don't choose to spend my evening watching parents chivy their children down my sidewalk, checking to ensure that the 'treats' they receive from me don't include drugs, razor blades or other harmful "stuff".

In fact, I disconnected my doorbell years ago.  Nobody who ever rang my doorbell had something to say that I wanted to hear.  Most of them wanted to express their disappointment that I did not accept Jesus as my personal savior.  It never occurred to them that  "Personal" was the operative word.

Or else, they wanted to campaign for their favorite politician.  As the lone Conservative in a Liberal college town, I soon learned when I moved here that the doorbell ringers didn't want a dialogue .. they wanted to proselytize.  The smarmy bastards soon left when I presented a counter argument.

Or maybe the fact that I answered the door NUDE was a bit off-setting.

(Okay, I never actually did that .. but I wanted to!)

Still, I don't think that's an entirely appropriate way to greet trick-or-treaters.

I'm pretty sure that most of you would agree; and those few of you who don't think it's inappropriate?

I'm for SURE not opening my door to you!


Anonymous said...

Please!!!! The thought of you answering the door in your B-day suit brings to mind visions better left un-visualized.

Mark said...

You are truly a curmudgeon. In fact if you look the word up on Wikipedia, it says "see Jerry the Geek"

Anonymous said...

Which is worse a curmudgeon or a ole geezer?

Anonymous said...

A Geek among his neighborhood children.