YIKES!

I've been singularly inactive here for the past (mumble mumble mumble) days ... okay, it's like about two months ... mostly because my life has been so placid and boring that I didn't really have anything much to say. I know, that never seemed to stop me before.  Well, now I'm old. And I'm retired.

So you may be excused for being surprised that I actually found something to talk about today.  Something even more interesting than complaining about my inability to keep my loading presses functioning smoothly, my competition pistols functioning smoothly, and the odd directions in which targets dodge to avoid those very expensive bullets I pour downrange at them in vain hopes of not embarrassing myself TOO badly during IPSC-style shooting matches.

What's so exciting today?

I've been robbed.

Smooth but shady characters have sneaked into my private domain and slipped smoothly away with $1,327.00 of my money, and they almost got away with it.  But I caught them, shot them down, and got my money back.  Yes, I shot them ... not with my Beloved Kimber or the Marvelous Mossberg, but with my lowly Casio cell phone.

Here's the story:
I didn't get to go to the Dundee match this weekend because I'm now having trouble with my Lee loading press, so I spent some time on my computer, checking on my financial situation.  I signed onto my VISA credit card account and I discovered that I owed them over $1,600 dollars!

Hence the "YIKES!" title of this post.

Two transactions, the description of both beginning with "SQ*" showed up, dated on the 19th of this month.  Posted on the 20th ... it took me three days (this being the 22nd, if I can remember to actually PUBLISH this post before I wander off to the kitchen for another glass of wine) for me to discover them and report them via phone to my credit card carrier.  I talked to a representative in their "Fraud Department".  That very helpful Customer Service Representative assured me that I would NOT be required to pay for those transactions.  However, I have been sternly enjoined to destroy my credit card immediately and insure that any statements or other documents which may have my account information NOT be casually tossed in the trash, etc.

The funny thing is, I'm almost entirely paperless in my financial transactions. Any document which includes my name, or any account information (such as account number and/or transaction details) is shredded.  I don't even put the shredded paper in the trash until Trash Day.  Well ... okay, sometimes I forget to do it on Trash Day, but I always dump the shredder stuff on SOME Trash Day!

The accounts which include legitimate transactions are those -- such as Amazon.com -- with which I have done business for years.

It's a total mystery to me how my credit card number got out, and I suppose I will never discover the labyrinthine manner in which those shady shoddy sneaks winnowed out my account information.  But it will do them no good in the future, because my account has been cancelled, and a new card will be FedEx-ed to me (signature required!) during the coming business week.

[My GOD!  Can you just hear the stentorian tones?  I swear I can hear John Huston or John Amos or some stentorianly voiced John doing a voice-over.  No wonder Darth Vadar lost the fight. Oh, wait a minute ... that WAS the Stentorian-Toned one, wasn't it?  Okay, never mind.]

Thankfully,  I don't depend on credit cards to make most of my purchases, so being without one for a few days is not an imposition.  I'm grateful for my carrier that they took me at my word and acted immediately ... which is to say, while I was still on the line ... to cancel the card and arrange for its replacement.

It's probably a very good thing that I discovered the fraud so early.

It's only a fluke that I chose to check my account almost a month before the next payment is due.

But you know, I've noticed a LOT of 'flukes' in my life recently.  For example, I lost my cell phone last week.  Not in the usual places (desk, coffee table, nightstand, charger, trouser pocket, etc.) but before I began a THOROUGH search of the usual second-tier places (car, garage, under the sofa cushions, in the refrigerator ... I swear I'm not making that up) I somehow thought to look behind the curio cabinet which abuts the stairs to the second floor.  Yup, there it was, on the floor very close to the book case.  I NEVER put anything on top of the curio cabinet, except for pictures of my kids, and I have no idea what prompted me to look there.  Must be some kind of sub-conscious "save this idiot from losing his stuff" survival-oriented instinct of which I have not previously been away.  Anyway, I found the phone and I walk around the house with it in my hand, when I'm wearing pajamas which have no pockets.  (I suppose you would call those pajamas "A T-Shirt And Boxer Shorts", but I'm much classier than that.)

Well.  I had another "Credit Card Crisis" incident slightly similar to this a few years ago, involving sums of  a considerably less significant denomination. [I would include the link here for your edification and reference, but I'm old and retired and therefore too lazy to look it up.  Maybe later.]  At that time, I made some profoundly helpful suggestions about how everyone should monitor their financial accounts closely and frequently, including at random dates for no discernible reason.  I'm pretty sure I've been taking my own advice, and I want to congratulate myself for sharing my wisdom.

Now, everybody get off this loser blog and go check your accounts.  Do it now.

PS:  Gee, this writing business is kind of fun.  Maybe I should start a blog?
Oh .. wait a minute, I already have one, don't I?  I forgot.  Well, I'm old.

And I'm, retired.  Have I already mentioned that? (smug moment here)

If I'm too proud to inflict my peripatetic mundanities on myself, why should I inflict them on you?  Other than, of course, that I CAN!  (There's enough smugness here to fill a wine glass, which is a good thing because I've emptied mine and it's a  damn long way down to the kitchen to get a refill.)

PPS: Damn!  This means I can't write another blog entry until I've been robbed of an equal or greater sum. I KNEW this was a bad idea!

 PPPS.  Never mind.  By this evening, I would have forgotten all about this post, so I have a good excuse for writing about anything I wish, whenever it strikes my fancy.  Who says that Getting Old Is No Fun?

Oh, by the way .... if any of you should happen to stop by Chez Geek, would you mind looking around for a pair of bifocals?  I don't remember where I placed them, and it's unbelievably difficult to find glasses when you don't have .... er .. the glasses you need to be able to SEE to find your glasses.