Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Email from The Hobo Brasser

We've all got friends like him.

You know the guy (His name might be Larry D., or "Big Dawg".) He's the one who sends you all the funny emails that are making the rounds. The stuff that is part of the Internet culture, which you would NEVER proliferate by sending to on to your own circle of friends ... mostly because he's already sent it on to them, or received it from one of them. But you dutifully open the email, and laugh like crazy, and never NEVER tell anyone how much you enjoyed the not-so-subtle social/political points they illustrate.

I keep thinking I ought to resent this intrusion on my privacy ... the arbitrary take-over of my personal 'bandwidth'. But then I realize I don't know why I should object, because I enjoy reading them and I'm glad I have friends who think of me when they find something 'special'.

As I said, I never pass them on.

Until today.

This has absolutely nothing to do with the usual content of this website, but today I'm going to impose my silly sense of humor on you all even though I don't know your email address.

This is Silly Email Gone Mad, Geek Style.

You may not agree with the politics here.

Deal with it.


First offering: "Let's Say I Break Into Your House"

Let's say I break into your house

A lady wrote the best letter in the editorials in ages!!! It explains things better than all the baloney you hear on TV.

Her point:

Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration.

Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely.

Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.


Let's say I break into your house.
Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave.


But I say, "I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors.
I've done all the things you don't like to do.
I'm hard-working and honest (except for when I broke into your house).
According to the protesters:


You are Required to let me stay in your house
You are Required to add me to your family's insurance plan
You are Required to Educate my kids

You are Required to Provide other benefits to me and to my family. (my husband will do all of your yard work because he is also hard-working and honest, except for that breaking in part).


If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my RIGHT to be there.

It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself.


I'm a hard-working and honest, person, except for well, you know, I did break into your house.

And what a deal it is for me!!!


I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of cold, uncaring, selfish, prejudiced, and bigoted behavior.



Oh yeah, I DEMAND that you learn MY LANGUAGE!!! so you can communicate with me.


Why can't people see how ridiculous this is?! Only in America .if you agree, pass it on (in English). Share it if you see the value of it.


If not blow it off......... along with your future Social Security funds, and a lot of other things.




Next: Passenger


If you're on a plane and....you are sitting next to someone who irritates you (and let's be honest, we've all been there)...

1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.
2. Remove your laptop.
3. Boot it.
4. Make sure the guy who won't leave you alone can see the screen.
5. Open this message
6. Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky.

7. Then hit this link : HERE

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