Annual Review

August, in Geekistan, is the month where we are encouraged to provide input to our Annual Review.

Since my boss has no clue what I do from day to day in the Professional Computer Geek Community, there are a series of categories in which I must Score Highly to achieve a salary increase. Among these are "User Support" and "Initiative". (More on this in a minute.)

I'm already overpaid for doing the thing that I like to do, which makes me a happy feller, so my contribution to this process is probably at the Underachiever level. I don't care. I have enough money to pay my bills and load ammunition for the next club match, and pay match fees. I plan to work until I die, so in happy grasshopper fashion I don't worry all that much about planning for my retirement. Social Security and my Pension, it says in my annual reports, will provide me almost as much money as I spend on rent today. So I'll go live under a bridge, just me and SWMBO and our XL650, and we'll live as long as we live.

Some people, though, seem to have problems.

For example, here's a story of an English Postman, who either got tired of carrying around a bunch of Dead Trees for not discernible reason, or thought his customers (the junk-mail receiving people on his postal route) may not enjoy receiving junk mail any more than he enjoyed delivering it.

At his own expense, and on his own initiative, he had some flyers printed up describing the procedure they could follow if they did not want unsolicited solicitations delivered to their mailslots.

Sounds like Customer Service, right?

But according to his employer (the Royal Mail) has suspended him pending an investigation.

A Royal Mail spokesman said that the Door-to-Door scheme was vital for the company's ability to compete on an equal footing with other delivery organisations. The company delivers a quarter of Britain's unaddressed mail. The spokesman said that the deliveries provided a much-needed service to small businesses and consumers.

Apparently, the British equivalent of UPS and Fed-Ex (which, come to think of it, are probably UPS and FedEx) are such strong competitors for delivery service, the Royal Mail is reduced to Doing The Job That Englishmen Won't Do ... delivering junk. And anyone who undermines that essential function may freely be considered a traitor to The Service.

I hear you saying: "It's The Economy, Stupid!"

Yeah, right. As a "customer" of the U.S. Postal Service, I could do with a whole lot less Dead Trees (Safeway flyers and offers to increase my manhood. Oh wait, that's Email Spam, right?) which go into the ashcan before I unlock my front door.

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Here's another one, a lot closer to home:

The Firefighting Industry in Idaho must be experiencing a market-slump, because ...

SALMON, Idaho -- A federal firefighter accused of persuading a friend to set a brush fire on the city's outskirts has been charged with conspiracy to commit arson.

Sounds reasonable to me.

If your business is Fighting Fires, and there are no Fires to Fight ... Hey! Demonstrate your initiative by inviting a friend to start a few fires in a worthless clump of brush. You and your cow-workers can Make Good Money and Start Your Own Business by fighting manufactured fires.

Seems reasonable to me. Good training, and that clump of sagebrush was probably just a forest fire waiting to happen anyway. Why not? Heck, they pay you the same whether you're fighting fires or just sitting around the Station House.

But do they give you crediti for Initiative.

NOOooooo!

They want to throw your fanny into the hoosegow. Does that seem fair to your?

Me either.

Of course, I don't live in Salmon, Idaho. If I did, I might have a different attitude. But I live in Oregon, so what do I care if Idaho changes it's State Motto from '"Esto perpetua" (which apparently means "May It Live Forever" ... don't ask me! Like you, I thought it was an American State) to "French Fries, Anyone"?

Excuse me: "Freedom Fries".

So, if you're a firefighter in Idaho, you don't get bonus points on your Annual Review for "Initiative". Seems anti-American to me, but maybe it has to do with the State Motto being a Spanish Saying. I don't know. I don't get paid for this stuff, I just cut&paste the quotes.

It seems to me as if the only way to get ahead is to completely ignore The Rules, which don't make sense to an ordinary man, and just ... do your own thing. Make up your own rules. Don't worry about your Annual Review, they're gonna slaughter you anyway. Might as well have it done under YOUR terms, right?

Here's a story about the Iraqi Army, which seems to be more of a "regional militia" than a "National Army".

These guys are perfectly content to live and work in their home state/province/county/parish (I don't know what they call their area, do you?) but feel that moving to another state/province/county/parish as their AOR (Area Of Responsibility) is just asking too much.

You can't blame them. They know what they signed up for. Maybe nobody else knows, but THEY do! They were asked to "defend the Home Front", and that's just what they're gonna do. That doesn't include fighting people they don't know to defend people they don't know. They're just going to ... literally ... defend their home. They may not have been drafted by their "Friends and Neighbors" (read: people they grew up with, and know personally) but they have a pretty good idea that if they were born in southern Maysan province and are later requested and required to go defend Baghdad .... you gotta ask yourself: "Do I Feel Lucky!"


I'm going to assign this one to the category: "Know and Support your Customer Base", and I'll give them an 8 out of 10 possible points for knowing what their job is and who their customers are.

Okay, that's not on the form.

But it oughta be,.