Happy [Geek] Valentine's Day!

Today is Valentine's Day.

Guys hate Valentine's Day.

I'm not sure why this is, but it's true. Probably it's because we see it as a phoney "go shopping, spend a lot of money, be touchey-feely or you're a bad guy" kind of holiday.

You know, like Mother's Day, Father's Day ... there's even a Children's Day, for goodness sake! (My father once told me that every day is Children's Day; I replied that I hadn't noticed. But that's another story.)

It's not that I don't like shopping for SWMBO. In fact, I enjoy buying unexpected gifts for all of my family. I just resent being coerced into buying things for my loved ones.

And I don't do "wrapping". I'm a crummy present wrapper. For example, I did 90% of my Christmas shopping almost a month before Christmas this year. But it took me six weeks to get the last of the presents wrapped and shipped out to my children and THEIR children. In fact, they would still be waiting for their "Grandpa Geek" box if SWMBO hadn't volunteered to finish the wrapping. (I can't prove it, but I suspect that SWMBO re-wrapped all of the gifts I HAD wrapped, when I wasn't looking. Thank You, SWMBO!)

That's on a "GOOD" Holiday - Christmas - which I enjoy. I have less enthusiasm for holidays which are founded only upon the wish of merchants to sell me more stuff so I can give it to somebody who doesn't really need or want it.

So this year, I bought SWMBO a set of Kitchen knives.

I had been telling her for TEN YEARS that she needed a set of kitchen knives. What she had were decent knives [LIE ALERT!] that were never sharp, and which didn't match. I mentioned again last month that she needed a decent set of knives, and I would have given them to her but I never considered them 'romantic' enough. Knives are like vacuum cleaners or blenders, or a really good mixer which is another thing I talked about for years but never gave her even though she really needed it so she finally went out and got a Kitchen-Aid mixer of her own.

Anyway, she replied that she thought Knives were a very romantic gift, so I bought them for her for Valentine's Day. I gave them to her last weekend, so we could revel in the fact that I actually gave someone a gift before it was past-due. They had red handles; she likes red.

I'm not sure she really knew how to handle that, or the three jars of Cherry, Strawberry and Raspberry yogurt I bought along to 'dress up' the package. Well, they were red; she likes red. I got her a red range bag last year 'just because', and she never did figure out what the occasion was. The answer, of course, is that I saw it and knew she would like it, so I bought it and gave it to her immediately. It was wonderful, watching her fight the impulse to tear up.

The good thing about buying 'kitchen accessories' for your sweetheart is, next year you won't have to go crazy trying to find a gift that top last year's gift.

Guys are easy to shop for, for Valentine's day.
The choices are few:

1. Beer
2. Books
   
3. Really good Irish Whiskey
4. Guns
   

(If she buys you a gun, make sure you act like it's something you would have bought for yourself even if it isn't an STI. If she buys you a book, pretend you don't already have it. Trust me, this is important.)

Did I wrap her Valentine's Day Gift?

No, I did not. I put 'em in a gift bag, with a nice card that somehow managed to express my feelings exactly. The box of knives was too big to fit into the gift bag, so I bought a curled-ribbon paste-on thingie and stuck it on the top of the knife box.

Don' t never let nobody tell you I ain't a romantic.

PS: no, we didn't go out to dinner tonight, which was a darned shame because SWMBO had a gift-card for two free meals at a local fish house. Maybe next weekend ... I hope they have a good wine.