Yahoo!

Can it be true?

Omigod!

Can Yahoo! News be ... pandering to prurient interests on it's World News website?

Please GAWD! Let it not be true!

Oh. Well, maybe.

Surfing the Internet tonite, we wandered through the "Most Popular" website and found the following tittilating (expression advised .... which means we really shouldn't but can't resist the temptation) selection of 'news' stories whose content ( and usually, photos ) belie the idea that Yahoo! News is really about NEWS?

(1) Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez .... talks with people who were affected by flooding in Araira in Miranda state, about 50 km (31 miles) from Caracas, Venezuela, Saturday, Feb. 12, 2005, after floodwaters receded following a disaster that has left at least 15 people dead. (AP Photo/Miraflores, Marcelo Garcia)

Our dear friend Marcelo Garcia has managed to capture a poignant picure of Hugo speaking to a young Venezuelen (presumably) constituent who just HAPPENS to be nursing a child, and in the process just HAPPENS to have her left breast comfortably flopping out of her low-cut bright red dress.

Quick test: can you find Hugo Chavez in the picture? Time limit: 10 minutes. No cheating!

(2) Think Ink, Not Mink
In this photo supplied by the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), tattoo-resplendent former NBA star Dennis Rodman appears completely nude in a celebrity anti-fur ad by PETA.The ad made its debut at New York Fashion Week.(AP Photo/PETA)

The ever-hot Dennis Rodman (the conservative spokesman for always-correct deportment) is featured here in PETA's continuing all-nude-all-the-time advertising campaign designed to ... what? Demonstrate the difference between humans and animals? You be the judge, if you dare.

Here's the good news: Our Hero Dennis is not REALLY nude. It appears that he has a generous selection of tatoos.
All .. over ... his ... body.

But don't forget the message?

"Be comfortable in your own skin, and let animals keep theirs!" -- furisdead.com

Subtle, yet effective. We can say without fear of contradiction that this is one pelt we don't want to see displayed on OUR trophy wall!

(3) Christina Aguillera discusses her marital schedule with a convention-hall full of sweaty, overweight businessmen ... American pop star Christina Aguilera (news) has got engaged to her longtime boyfriend, Jordan Bratman, People magazine reported on February 12, 2005. Aguilera acknowledges the applause at the end of her display for Dsquared2 Spring/Summer 2005 men's collections during Milan Fashion Week, June 29, 2004. (Daniele La Monaca/Reuters)

Here Yahoo! News has generously provided the opportunity to keep up to date on the question All America has been asking itself: how is Christina getting along with her boyfriend ... ol' WhatsHisName?
(WTF is a "Jordan Bratman?)

Pay no attention to the Boobs behind the Bustier.

(4) Will Smith completely forgets his marital status for just a moment, really ... Actor Will Smith (L) kisses a Brazilian Carnival reveler as actress Eva Mendes (R) looks on during the Carnival champion's parade at the Sambadrome in Rio de Janeiro, February 12, 2005. Carnival in Rio is famed as one of the world's greatest parties. REUTERS/Bruno Domingos

You can tell that Bruno and Reuters are terribly concerned that we all be aware that "Carnival in Rio" is famed as "one of the world's greatest parties."

We have no idea why. (Though we're certain it is newsworthy.)

Certainly it couldn't be because of the scantily clad "Brazilian Carnival revelers".

"Pay no attention to the man behind the .. .er ... "scantily clad Brazilian Carnival reveler".

(5) Actor Tom Sizemore Fails Drug Test with Fake Penis; he couldn't get a broad if he rented a billboard displaying full-frontal nudity. Church attendance soars while millions of Angeleans chant "Thank You JESUS for sparing us! NOW says: "There's nothing new here, men have been lying to us about their penis for years."
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Actor Tom Sizemore has been jailed for violating his probation by failing a drug test after he was caught trying to use a prosthetic penis to fake the results, a Los Angeles County prosecutor said on Friday.

Sorry ... (NOT!) ... No pictures here. Just a 'news' article, obviously offered to help us common folk keep track of Poor Ol' Tom's continuing story of defending himself against governmental interference in a man's personal battle to defend himself against unreasonable judicial edicts to keep himself ... er ... "clean and sober".

Also, presumably, "straight".

Is this like a "blow-up" doll? Only, different?

Gawd, we hope nobody answers this question in the Comments!

(6) ... Male Genital Snow Sculpture Shocks Drivers! DNA tests prove that this is a "Whizzinator" product registered to Tom Sizemore.
GLEN AUBREY, N.Y. - An explicit six-foot-tall snow sculpture depicting male genitals in a yard on a rural road north of Binghamton had some drivers doing a double-take this week.

My, my, my. A "double-take".
One for each ... uh ... never mind.

Again, no pictures.
We're not saying that pictures aren't available, and we're not saying they are.
We're just saying, if pictures WERE available, you wouldn't find them here.
Why?
Because it's OUR blog, and we wouldn't have to link to them if they were, presumably, available.
(Surely even Yahoo! News has to draw the line somewhere.)

(7) ... Defaced Bush Face; I swear that this is not Tom Sizemore's missing "Whizzinator" ... Police look at a defaced poster of U.S. President George W. Bush (news - web sites), while environmental activists protest against Essso's alleged lobbying of the U.S. President to refuse to abide by the Kyoto Protocol (news - web sites). With the pact on climate change set to take effect, the Bush administration still rejects it as too costly for the US economy and based on questionable scientific hypotheses(AFP/File/Gerry Penny

Okay, just so this doesn't have to be ALL T&A All the time, here's an article which clearly doesn't appeal to Pruruent Interests.

Also, the AF" news source obviously doesn't have any political reason to provide a photo and accompanying caption which (a) makes the incumbent American President look like a dork, or (b) suggest that his decision not to ratify the Kyot0 Protocol is A Bad Thing.

(8) ... Just to show that Yahoo! News isn't All About T&A, or "Whizzinators" either! ... Goldie Hawn (news), right, and Kurt Russell arrive for the British Academy Film Awards in London Saturday, Feb. 12, 2005. (AP Photo/John D McHugh)

We guess there may be some female flesh in this picture; but trust us, this is an ugly picture and you do NOT want to go there!

Whew!
That's a relief.

(9) ... Woman Denies Sherry Enema Charge .... HOUSTON (Reuters) - A Texas woman indicted last month for allegedly giving her husband a lethal sherry enema said he was an enema addict who did it to himself, a newspaper reported Thursday.

That's the way he went out and I'm sure that's the way he wanted to go out because he loved his enemas," she told the Houston Chronicle.

File this under "Shit We Would Really Rather Not Know About!"
Oops! Sorry.
We're pretty sure that this was not only an unfortunate choice of words, but also shit (oops!) we don't even want to THINK about !

We guess we were confused.

Our conclusion (based upon ... nothing much) is that Yahoo! News photo policy does not intend to present provocative photographs over bland, null-value captions for the express purpose of arousing prurient interest. This is a responsible news-oriented venture designed to tell us all about news which is ... well ... news.

How could we have been so wrong?