Police in Oregon say an apparently suicidal woman was being treated for critical injuries (she apparently lived through it) after she intentionally set herself on fire, crashed her car into a guardrail, and jumped 40 feet off a bridge Thursday. According to The Eugene Register-Guard, the 39-year-old woman had recently been reported missing by her family. The paper reported that a 911 caller first spotted the woman's car at around 12:30 p.m. local time. The caller told emergency responders that the interior of the woman's car appeared to be on fire, and she was driving recklessly. After the car crashed into a bridge guardrail, witnesses told police the woman jumped out — on fire — and began taking her clothes off as she ran to the edge of the span. Truck drivers tried to put out the flames with fire extinguishers and another person tried to grab the woman, but she was still able to jump, police said.-emphasis added-
... we're obviously too stupid to manage the job by ourselves!